I don’t know about you, but I’ve been hearing about the “sandwich generation” for some time now.
In my life as an advertising executive (eons ago) we identified the “sandwich generation” as a distinct demographic (or “psychographic”) — one worthy of our attention in our ever present quest to identify and nail “market segments.”
What is the Sandwich Generation? No, not PB & J. It’s adults, with small children they are responsible for AND their own aging parents for whom they are caring for as well. Get it? Adults “sandwiched” between their kids and their parents.
Back then, the idea was mostly that older parents needed assistance — with doctors visits, trips to the pharmacy, visits (at their home or nursing homes). The idea was not that they necessarily where living under the same roof with their now-adult children.
Apparently that trend, which is the HISTORIC way American families took care of their elders – is on the come back.
With the cost of long term care so incredibly high (and the quality of care so questionable!) more and more families are looking at the option of bringing Mom & Dad (or one or the other) to live with them.
This solution, while certainly cost effective, is fraught with other problems of its own. Who pays for what? How is mom’s Social Security income integrated into the family budget? Who pays for the babysitter and who gets babysat (kids or grandma?) If grandma takes on child care duties – does she receive a wage for it?
No one really wants to consider these questions. Or negotiate the answers. But assuming that you are all on the same page is not really an option either. Not if you plan to succeed in living together with multi-generational families all under one roof.
The Farmer’s Almanac posted a story I found very thought provoking on this very subject. You can read it here.
Another interesting and thought provoking source is a book I’ve been reading titled, Someday, All This Will Be Yours — essentially one way that financial deals between families were negotiated (or not) in the time when multi-generational families in one home were common in the U.S. (up until the mid-1950’s or so).
If you’re thinking about bringing Mom or Dad into you home, you might want to read these two sources for some insight and/or talk to someone outside your emotional circle who can objectively help you decide if that is the right financial and practical move for you and your aging parent. And help you negotiate the boundaries and practical arrangments between you and the other members of your family.
